"Will You Be In My Wedding?!"

You're engaged!  He proposed, you've got a ring on your finger, and now all you can think about is your wedding.  You have about a million friends...how do you choose your bridal party?

Most girls already have decided who they want in their wedding before they even get a ring or the proposal.  When most people are asked if they want to "be in my wedding" they are thrilled and respond with an enthusiastic "YES!"  But despite the excitement, there are some things to consider when you choose a your attendants. 

First, being a bridesmaid or groomsman is a job that requires responsibility.  Your attendants will need to be there for the rehearsal, rehearsal dinner and the day of the wedding.  Often, bridesmaids will be invited to bridal showers, luncheons, and other wedding-related events.  They will need to help shop for their gowns, and that includes trying on different dresses, ordering them, and fittings.  As you can see, it takes a lot of commitment!  You'll want to think about which of your friends is reliable and would be willing to be where you need her to be - on time.

Also, there is a pretty big financial commitment, too. Bridesmaids are expected to buy their gowns and shoes; they often pay to get their hair and nails done the day of the wedding.  They purchase wedding gifts and shower gifts.  The same goes for the groomsmen and ushers: they rent a tuxedo, attend a bachelor party, and purchase wedding gifts.  And then there are additional costs if your attendants have to travel for your wedding.


So, when you ask someone to be in your wedding, it's a good idea to gently ask them if they are able to afford it - for example, "I'd love you to be a bridesmaid, but I want to make sure you can afford to buy a gown and shoes.  It's okay if you can't!".  Sometimes, attendants back out at the last minute because of money or time, and this can really mess up a bride's plans!  There are options if there is someone you just can't imagine not being in your wedding, like offering to help with their costs from your wedding budget.  The key is communication.

Once someone has agreed to be in your bridal party, keep in touch!  Make sure you are in contact and aware of what's going on in their life.  For instance, perhaps an attendant got a new job which limits the times she's available for you.  Or maybe, someone lost their job and can no longer afford to be in your wedding.  Take these things as they come, and work out solutions in a calm and understanding way.  After all, the ones you choose to be in your wedding are the friends and family that you are closest to!

It's an exciting and memorable time, and you'll want to keep things going as smooth as possible.  Having attendants back out is a stressful thing for both the bride and the attendant, so avoid problems by heading them off before they even happen.