Guests - who should you invite?

With today's elaborate weddings and pricey receptions, one of the ways to control the cost is to control the guest list. This adds another problem - who should I invite?  It's always a tough decision when you have a limited number of invitations and a guest list that's too long for everyone to attend.  So how do you decide?

Some things to keep in mind:

~ You must always invite immediate family.  This means your aunts, uncles, grandparents.  Your cousins are optional.  To keep hurt feelings in check, don't talk about the wedding plans at family gatherings.

~  What about the neighbors?  If you've been close as family, then, yes.  If not, then you'll can leave them off the list.

~  How about family that live far away and you know probably won't attend?  Yep, invite them.  Maybe consider sending a note that says something like "We wanted to share our good news with you!  We'll make sure we send pictures after the wedding!"

~ Should you invite guest's children?  That's up to you.  If you opt for a "no children" policy, then you need to inform parents of this.  If you're worried that they will get upset when they see your flower girl or ring bearer, then they will just have to be upset.  It's your day, and those children are a special part of your wedding party.  A great idea for guests with children: provide a nursery at the church, and have your reception venue provide a small side room as a makeshift "babysitting room".  Provide kid-friendly food (like pizza or hot dogs), a television with a selection of movies, and other things for them to play with.  Parents will love it - they can party and enjoy themselves, knowing they can check on the tots whenever they want, and you won't have a bunch of kiddies running around your reception or making noise during your vows.

~  Dad's business partners:  Not necessarily.  If you've got room, yes - but if you're looking to pare down your guest list, they can be left off.

~ What about those people who asked, albiet innocently "Will I be invited?" when you were first engaged, and, in the excitement of the moment, you said "Yes!"...but now, you have to leave them off the list.  Take them aside, and gently explain that you have to make some radical cuts in the interest of budget.  Hopefully, they are understanding.  But, make sure that you aren't leaving them out if their group of friends or collegues are attending...for example, there's a group at work that eats lunch together every day, and you've invited the entire group - except one.  That is a recipe for hurt feelings.  In this case, scratch the whole group from your list.

A few other tips:
- Allot a certain number of invitations to your groom's parents and your parents.  Save some for yourself.  That way, everyone can decide who they need to invite.
- You can invite your officiant to the reception, but if you don't really know them well, you don't have to.
- If someone is invited to your bridal shower, they MUST be invited to your wedding.  It's happened to me, and I think it's awfully rude to expect a shower gift without an invitation to the wedding.
- If you don't get a respond card returned from a guest, don't hesitate to give them a friendly phone call and ask if they are planning to attend.  You'll need to keep good records for the catering company.

Remember, it's your day, and you should surround yourself with those you love most.  Be gentle and kind - don't go on and on about your wedding around folks that won't be invited.  Class = tact = poise = manners. 

Invitations can be tricky.  Buying invitations can be trickier.  I carry a big line of fabulous invitations at good prices!  Why not look through my books and find something that reflects your big day?  If you mention my blog, I'll give you 15% off your entire order!  Contact me here, or by cell or text at 513-407-7165, or e-mail at innobrations@yahoo.com. 

Five Things To Avoid At Your Reception

It's almost time, and you're planning a reception to remember!  It reflects you and your groom, and it's going to be fabulous!  But just in case, here are 5 things NOT to do at your wedding reception:

1.  Make sure there's not more than an hour of down time between the ceremony and the reception.  It's hard for out-of-town guests to figure out what to do for a couple of hours, and local guests who are all dressed up find it uncomfortable to go home for just a short period.  If you feel that you MUST have more than an hour, note the reception time on the invitation, and be prepared for some guests to grumble.

2.  Keep guests in the loop.  Make sure the DJ explains everything that's going on. For example, have him/her announce the reason your bridal party is using hula hoops (it's a college thing!). Make sure that they clearly know when they are allowed to approach the buffet, when the dancing will begin, and when you're going to cut the cake.  Confusion doesn't make for a fun time!

3.  Be gracious and caring hosts.  The reception is your first party as man and wife, and it is important that you greet each and every guest, even if you don't know some.  Guests at a wedding go out of their way to attend, and they all spend some money on a gift or travel.  So if you decide not to have a receiving line, then make a point to visit each and every table before the night is over.  And don't ask anyone to pay for anything...cash bars are a big "no-no"!

4.  Throw a wedding, not a business conference.  Avoid long speeches, long sideshows, and anything that hints of sponsorship ("flowers provided by Mack's Florist").  Your guests are there to celebrate and have fun!

5.  Make your guest's comfort a priority.  Have elderly guests?  Make sure the facilites are handicap-friendly.  Getting married outside?  Think about letting your guests know that heels are not practical.   Check the restroom facilities - how often are they cleaned?  Nothing is worse than having to use a dirty bathroom.

The basis for this blog is an article in Bride's Magazine, October, 2010, written by Marina Khidekel.

There's about a million details involved with planning a wedding.  Need some help to relieve that stress?  Give me a call, text or e-mail and let's talk!  Our first visit will be on the house, so you need not worry that you'll have to pay to decide if you want to work with a professional planner!  You can reach me at 513-407-7165, or e-mail me at innobrations@yahoo.com.  Happy planning!

Avoiding Reception Seating Nightmares

A big question that gets asked a lot by brides planning their wedding receptions - "Do I need a seating chart?".  The short answer:  absolutely!  But before you freak out, here are some seating chart guidelines that will make planning this part of the reception much easier:

~ Why?  If you're planning a reception for, say, 200 people, then if your tables seat 10 people each, you'll put up 20 tables, right?  Right.  So, if you're not assigning a table, then folks will come in, mill around a bit, then choose a table.  That's all good, but they won't fill every chair - there will be holes here and there.  When the last folks come in the door, it's likely that they won't be able to sit with their group, because there will be empty chairs at random spots.  It's just human nature - think of a movie theatre.  People never sit in the chair next to someone they don't know.  Confused?  Here's an example:
       Mr. and Mrs. Jones and their three children (your next door
       neighbors while growing up) are one of the  last guests to
       arrive at your reception (Mrs. Jones has a headache and
       they stopped along the way for some medicine.)  Upon
       entering, they find that there are no tables with five seats
       together.  So Mr. Jones sits with your dad's business
       associates; Mrs. Jones is seated with the groom's cousins;
       two of the children sit with your friends from college; and the
       last child sits with your Aunt Pearl. 
As you can see, this can all be avoided by assigning a table.  This not only makes your guests more comfortable, it also cuts down on the amount of table linens and such you'll need to rent, because you won't have to provide a couple of extra tables.

~ How?  There's two ways to do it:  assign specific seats, or just specific tables.  You'll want to assign seats if you're giving your guests a choice for their entree ("chicken or fish?") so that the reception staff will know which dish to place at which place setting.  If you're only serving one entree or having a buffet, it's okay to just ask them to sit at a specific table.

~ Where?  Okay, so how do you group the tables?  This can be tricky, but keeping in mind these guidelines will help:  Put people together who have a connection (like co-workers or cousins).  Keep feuding relatives apart.  Keep folks with young children together.  Put older relatives far from the band and/or speakers (they like to chat, and can't hear each other with the music blaring).  It's okay to have two or more tables for immediate family, especially if parents are divorced - don't seat them together, even if they get along great.  It avoids any kind of uncomfort - especially for the other guests at their table who might find it difficult to "say the right things" to people who are divorced.

~ How? First, you'll need a diagram of the floor plan.  You can do this the old fashioned way by drawing, or even using paper plates and sticky notes.  If you're more techically minded, try this website:www.seatingarrangement.com.  It's free!  Oh, and don't forget to add the buffet table, the dance floor, the area or stage for the band or DJ, the restrooms, and the exits.  (Make sure you don't block off any of this!).  Venues usually know the best arrangements for tables, so ask them about it. 

~ When?  You can start after you send out the invitations, but you won't know for sure who's going to be there until the last couple of weeks before the wedding when you get the RSVPs.  And speaking of those RSVPs, don't hesistate to phone those folks you don't get a response from.  Some people get busy and just plain forget, so to insure that you've got it covered, give them a friendly call. 

All in all, it's a lot of work - but it pays off in the end when your guests are comfortable and having a marvelous time at your reception!

Planning a wedding is a lot of work and worry!  But not if you hire the right Wedding Coordinator!  I'd love to help you create and execute the day of your dreams.  Just give me a call or text me at 513-407-7165, and we'll talk about it!  Also, check out my website at http://www.innobrations.com/!

Ideas for Great Music!

Great Music + Terrific DJ = Fabulous Reception!  You've planned, paid and perused in the hopes that your guests will have a terrific time at your reception.  But what to ask the DJ to play?  Here are some ideas for some good music that will get your guests out of their chairs and out on the dance floor:

Let's Get It Started - Black Eyed Peas

Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It) - Beyonce
Just Dance - Lady Gaga
Rock Your Body - Justin Timberlake
Hey Ya! - Outkast
Disturbia - Rihanna
Tubthumber - Chumbawumba
Crazy In Love - Beyonce
Get The Party Started - Pink
That's Not My Name - The Ting Tings

How about some country?  A mix of music appeals to everyone!  Some popular, toe tappin'  Country songs that are often requested at receptions:
All My Ex's Live In Texas - George Strait
Boot Scootin' Boogie - Brooks & Dunn
Chattahoochie - Alan Jackson
Forever & Ever, Amen - Randy Travis

You can't go wrong with some favorite oldies!
Brick House - The Commodores
Devil With The Blue Dress - Mitch Ryder
Hot, Hot, Hot - Buster Poindexter
I'll Be There For You - The Rembrandts
Le Freak - Chic
Louie, Louie - The Kingsman
Love Shack - The B 52's
Old Time Rock & Roll - Bob Seger
Shout - Isley Brothers
Soul Man - Blues Brothers
Twist & Shout - The Beatles
Vogue - Madonna
What I Like About You - The Romantics

Oh, those group dance songs that everyone knows...tacky, but fun!
Chicken Dance - Sorta Crackers Band
Electric Boogie (Slide) - Martha Griffiths
Locomotion - Little Eva
C'mon & Ride the Train - Quad City DJ's

Also, talk to your DJ.  He or she will know what is most popular in your area, and what just doesn't get people moving.  Working closely to select the music with your DJ will insure that he doesn't play a song that you can't stand, either! 

Looking for some help in planning a wedding to remember for a lifetime?  I'm here!  I'll do as little or as much as you'd like, and I'll fit into your budget - and I'll help you make that budget, one you can stick to!  Contact me through this blog, or call or text me at 513-407-7165.  Yay for your big day!!

Walking Down The Aisle 101

It's finally here!  The Big Day!  With all the planning, sampling, trying on, and everything else, you probably haven't thought about your actual walk down the aisle.  But think about this:  You'll be walking on a carpet or grass, in heels, in a gown, holding a bouquet.  It could be tricker than you think!  So here are some great tips for walking down the aisle with class and grace:

Before you walk in:
Take a few deep breaths to relax.  Breath deep, in through your nose and out through your mouth. This will relax your entire body.  Don't worry about straightening your dress or adjusting your veil - your wedding planner or the event coordinator will make sure you look fabulous!  If you don't have a planner or coordinator, consider hiring one for the day ("Day-Of Services") or asking a friend who is not in your wedding party to be there for the last minute adjustments.

Take those first steps:
Use your dad or escort as a crutch, or just to steady you.  Don't grab his arm; just place your hand in the crook of his elbow. 
Hold your flowers at "belly button" level - don't cover that gorgeous gown with your bouquet!  This is the best position to make your arms look the thinnest; holding it any higher makes you look tense - the idea is to look like it's the most natural thing in the world to carry a bouquet, so don't hold it with an iron grip.   
Keep pace with the music, but don't do that "step-pause-step-pause" rhythm that movie brides use.  Just walk a beat slower than you usually do.  There's no need to rush - like my father told me at my wedding, "Let's take it slow. We only get to do this once!"

You're on your way to the altar:
Remember to look around and smile!  The photographer will be snapping away, and you're the star - let your guests know that you're happy and excited by looking around and smiling at them! 
If you cry, it's okay - keep a lovely handkerchief in your hand and carefully dab.  But if you're really bawling, try to refocus.  Look at your groom - lots of brides find themselves calmed by his gaze; or try to divert your thoughts by looking at something concrete...like your bouquet, or the antics of the ringbearer, or the guests.  Waterproof mascara is a good idea if you think you're going to cry!

When you reach your groom:
Smile at him, and smile at your father.  You'll know what to do from there, because your officiant will let you know what comes next and you've practiced it at the rehearsal.  Also, you'll have worked out how to pass your bouquet, pass the rings, and any other physical logistics at the rehearsal, so it's a good idea to take some kind of a bouquet with you then.  Lots of brides use one that is made up of the bows from their bridal showers.

You'll be calmer on your wedding day if you practice at the rehearsal.  Go over it until you're comfortable!

ABOUT THOSE FABULOUS SHOES...
New shoes, especially dress heels (even low heels) can be slippery and uncomfortable.  The best way to avoid slipping and falling, as well as blisters and pain, is to break them in a week before the wedding.  My source recommends scuffing the bottoms on a sidewalk or sandpaper so the bottoms lose their slippery newness.  Then wear them around the house for a few days, so the material and your feet can get aquainted.  It's also a good idea to wear shoes with the same heel height to the rehearsal so you get an idea of what it will be like during the ceremony.

So, you don't need a planner - but what about help on the big day?  I offer Day-Of Services to make your wedding day run smoothly.  I'll be there at the rehearsal, then I'll be there two hours before the start of the ceremony until you and your new husband are introduced at the reception.  It's an invaluable service, and if you'd like that for yourself, don't hesistate to give me a call or text at 513-407-7165 - or just simply comment on this post!  Happy Wedding!